Hop On The Cold War Train: Transsiberian

Transsiberian (2008, directed by Brad Anderson) is a 2-hour attack ad on the Russian tourist bureau.

(photo from Collider)

Sometimes I just want to watch a normal movie. Something with good production, recognizable actors, a story that's basically predictable, a consistent pace. Something that has just enough marketing behind it to let you know it exists. Not something that'll EpiPen you with Hancock billboards and pitiful Watchmen poster tweaks. No 10 car pile ups or Jessica Alba strip scenes. No moon landings. No post-Kaufman coma or Bruckheimer body bag.

So I got Transsiberian knowing full well it was a 3-star movie and I watched it in the leisure of my own comfortable indifference.

(photo from Mad About Movies)

Woody Harrelson and Emily Mortimer are American tourists on the transiberrian railway. They accidentally befriend some charismatic drug smugglers that inevitably lead them to Ben Kingsley, a Russian detective with a serial killer side who's playing both sides. Evil Soviet suspense ensues.

(photo from Worst Previews)

This is not only an outline of the plot. This IS the movie. The only other thing notable is that the story, while it doesn't have any definitive twists, doesn't exactly follow a classical script. There are a few quick sidesteps but nothing more. Ironically, this doesn't make the movie more novel, it actually makes it more typical. All new suspense movies that don't feature teen stars give you little plot tweaks. It's industry-standard now.

There's nothing here you haven't seen before. Watch it because you want to watch a movie.

Netflix rating: 3 stars
RIYL: A Simple Plan, Dirty Pretty Things, The Machinist
Youtube: this is one of those previews that tells you the entire movie